He walks into the kitchen and I decide to throw caution to the wind and follow him. He appears to be a bit nervous when he sees me. I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his neck.
“Thank you so much for being there for me tonight. I shudder to think what would have happened had it not been for you. You really are my hero.”
He squeezes me tight for a few seconds and then tries to pull away. I keep my arms around his neck and pull back enough to see his eyes. They are filled with such pain that it throws me a little.
“I’m just glad you are ok,” he replies and attempts to pull away again.
My heart is beating very fast and I decide that it is now or never. I will make the first move, then if he responds, I will know for sure how he feels. I move in closer and gently touch my lips against his. He moves back to try and avoid my kiss, but I hold him tight and push my body close to his. He lets out a soft moan, but I can feel the conflict within him. His body is stiff and he is trying not to respond to me. I softly bite his lower lip and his lower regions respond to me. I can feel his heart pounding in his chest and then suddenly his arms are around me, drawing me into him and his mouth is crushing mine. His erection is obvious as it bores into my stomach. His kiss is desperate and demanding and I am totally lost in the moment. Then he suddenly stops and pushes me away.
“I’m sorry, Addie. We can’t do this. It isn’t right.”
He pushes past me, storms into his room, and slams the door behind him. I’m bewildered and wondering what has just happened. He likes me, I know he does, so why is it so wrong? I am not a child and I’m pretty sure Janine won’t care. I can’t leave it like this. I know by the morning he will be cold and aloof again and I will never get the nerve up to confront him again. I walk over to his bedroom door, take a deep breath and turn the handle. He is sitting on his bed with his head in his hands. He looks up at me, totally distraught.
“Addie, please, just go.”
“I am not going anywhere until you tell me what the hell is going on. You like me, I know you do. I am not imagining the way you look at me and I didn’t imagine that in the kitchen just now.”
“There can never be anything between us, Addie. We are just friends, you just need to accept it. I don’t feel that way about you.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it. Now what is going on? I am pretty sure you don’t have anyone else or I would have noticed. I don’t have a boyfriend. Janine would be over the moon if we got together. I’m pretty sure you’re not gay…”
He glares at me. “No, I’m not gay.”
“Well, that was obvious from the way your body responded to me.”
He looks away. “Just leave it. You need to just move on. I cannot offer you anything other than friendship.”
I’m frustrated. He’s lying to me and I want an explanation. I kneel down in front of him and hold his head between my hands.
“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me.”
“I don’t love you.”
I shake my head. “Look me in the eye and say it.”
He raises his eyes and I can see tears welling. I lean forward to kiss him and he pushes me back, so hard that I fall back and hit the wall. He stands up, tears flowing freely down his cheeks.
“Just tell me!” I scream. “Why can’t we be together? What possible reason could there be?”
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